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At first I can’t believe it’s you. Your voice, it’s different. You’ve lost something, haven’t you? You seem unsure of what you mean and I’m unsure of what I think about it. Is it really you? Is there really nothing left to say than that? It’s empty. It’s sad. It’s confused. And then you grow. Like a butterfly spreading its wings for the first time. Your voice is fuller now, it’s still different but hell, it’s you. Your words cut like they always do. They break my heart. They make me tear up. Did I hear a sad sound? Oh yeah. You’re sad. You’re angry. And you’re new. Dream brother. My killer. My lover. Your last words. You direct it to me. You’re battling for the sun. Yes, you deserve it. It had been midnight for far so long. But – do I deserve the sun? You get angrier, I almost cry. No. I don’t. I broke you. It’s fairly fair you break me too, with your words full of hate. And sadness. We’re both torn between what we feel and what we have to feel. This is why you go up and down, this is why you get faster and slower. This is why I’m standing here, crying for the first time. Feeling human again. I’ve missed you. I didn’t know it for a long time. But I do. You leave me with these notes and all I can say is – no matter what, I still love you. |
