|
tσ bє strong Brian was chain-smoking all morning long. He would prefer to hold on to something like a glass of Bloody Mary, something like a glass of really good vodka, but it was only ten in the morning and there was something left of pride, something left of his image as a cool pretty boy, so he hold on to the fact that he would get his first shot by lunch time. He fought the need of getting drink, the need of getting covered by the dirty sheets of his bed, because he wanted to be strong. He didn’t want to cry like a little girl. The clock was restless. Brian was standing by the window and when he turned his head – after getting his long hair out of his face, of course – he could see the clock ticking. Soon it became noon and Brian couldn’t stand his flat anymore. Everything remembered him at the fact that he was alone in these rooms. Completely on his own. When Stef entered his flat yesterday, with that pale look on his face, Brian had the worst thoughts in his head. But his nightmares didn’t become real, thanks to whomever. Yet Stef hadn’t the best news: He was about to go to Sweden for New Year’s Eve. No celebration with his boyfriend at the last day of the year, no waking up next to his lover at the first day of the year. Brian had to swallow really hard, telling him to take good care. Of course his Stefan promised a lot, celebrations when he came back and so on. Not that Brian would have paid attention to it because he felt a little numb. That was not like he had imagined the end of his first year with Stef, not at all. Now, standing in front of his window, smoking like a maniac, he knew that it was silly to feel so hurt about Stefan leaving. Especially since Stefan wasn’t leaving him, so why cry? But Brian was romantic, deep down his heart. He hadn’t always been this way, but being with Stef made him feel that way. And this special night without his boyfriend made his heart a little crack. He wanted Stef to be there for him, day by day. So selfish and that was why he wanted to be cool about it. But he couldn’t be. To get away from all this thoughts of being alone, of being without Stefan for about a week, he took his coat and his fags and left his flat. There was this diner with Chinese food, down the street. They were serving really good wine, exactly what he needed to feel more cool and secure about being without his man. But then he just went by the restaurant, went further down the street. Before he realized where his feet brought him to he got up the stairs to Stef’s apartment. The door was open, the tall blond was carrying his suitcase out to the elevator. “Stef!” Brian said, feeling nervous. He wasn’t cool at all! Why did he come here anyway? Stef was about to leave, he shouldn’t feel worried about his boyfriend who just couldn’t stand to be alone at New Year’s Eve! “Brian, what are you doing here so early in the morning?” Stefan smiled. “I… I just wanted to wish you a happy new year, I forgot about it yesterday”, Brian blushed. He wasn’t strong; he was just a little girl. “So you want to come with me?” Stefan grinned. “What?” Brian froze. “Come on, I didn’t believe a word of you saying you would have a blast alone in London. I know that these parties of the year are really important to you and everything has to be perfect for you. Since I’m not there, as vain as it sounds, it’s not perfect for you and you’re about to cry about it.” Stefan explained. “You’re right.” Brian shrugged. “Of course I am. Good that I bought a second ticket.” Stefan continued. “I’m going with you?” Brian’s eyes got big. “If you don’t want to be an alcoholic, sipping his first drink at nine in the morning, you probably are”, Stefan answered. Maybe it was better that he wasn’t that strong. |
